I am a person very unfamiliar to you. My past treated me with insufferable evil and much unkindness. I felt abandoned and ashamed, as it left me with countless questions even I cannot answer. Grown-ups always appeared to hate me. For some unknown reason, I was a target for those who wanted revenge or wished to use me. Just a nobody who meant nothing to anyone. No voice. No choice. No hope.
I spent much time in my room as a child. It seemed there I was protected, and no one could harm me. I wrote, I sketched, I dreamed. Dreams were a way of escape from a world of pain and weeping. But it appeared dreams would never come true for this little girl. I never found my place in this cold and indifferent world. A child afraid of speaking the truth to anyone for fear of being ridiculed and faulted. To them, would my accusations only be something considered imaginary? I wondered if the world would always propose this type of injustice. Thus, I remained silent.
Years upon years kept serving the same unappealing meal to my table. My plate remained empty, for my soul could no longer tolerate the scraps life offered me. Why did I not deserve better? Though diligent in my efforts, a solution remained undiscovered. I only continued to travel the same path of disappointment and misery, because it was all known to me. And I was too terrified to make any unfamiliar turns. The wall of protection I created became too high for anyone to climb.
In this era of my life, as I begin to tread that final path of my earthly journey, I am made aware I no longer crave approval or need pity. My faith has strengthened through the fire. At last, I’m assured I’ll be okay. I have uncovered the answers to the countless questions that haunted me my entire life…and I found them in Jesus Christ. He understands me completely. He knows my heart so very well. He hears me when I weep, and catches every tear that falls from my eyes. And He will never desert me. No, I will never again be left to cry alone.
Do you know how very much Jesus cares for us? Even the seemingly most-insignificant worry of our minds concerns Him. He wants nothing more than to love us, and He does…unconditionally and immensely. We are His children. His wish is not for our hearts and our dreams to be crushed. But when they are, He sees each tear that falls as we cry. He is aware of our burdens and offers the comfort of His all-embracing arms. What a beautiful Savior we have! If He isn’t already, allow Him to be Lord of your life today. He will be there for you when no one else will.
Psalm 56:8 “Thou tellest my wandering; put thou my tears into thy bottle; are they not in thy book?”