Once, I Cried Alone

436785-1920x1200-[DesktopNexus.com] little girl cryingYou think you know me, but you don’t.  You believe you feel my pain, but you can’t. You witness my tears and say you will try to understand, but you won’t…. No, you won’t.

I am a person very unfamiliar to you. My past treated me with insufferable evil and much unkindness. I felt abandoned and ashamed, as it left me with countless questions even I cannot answer. Grown-ups always appeared to hate me. For some unknown reason, I was a target for those who wanted revenge or wished to use me. Just a nobody who meant nothing to anyone. No voice. No choice. No hope.

I spent much time in my room as a child. It seemed there I was protected, and no one could harm me. I wrote, I sketched, I dreamed. Dreams were a way of escape from a world of pain and weeping. But it appeared dreams would never come true for this little girl. I never found my place in this cold and indifferent world. A child afraid of speaking the truth to anyone for fear of being ridiculed and faulted. To them, would my accusations only be something considered imaginary? I wondered if the world would always propose this type of injustice. Thus, I remained silent.

Years upon years kept serving the same unappealing meal to my table. My plate remained empty, for my soul could no longer tolerate the scraps life offered me. Why did I not deserve better? Though diligent in my efforts, a solution remained undiscovered. I only continued to travel the same path of disappointment and misery, because it was all known to me. And I was too terrified to make any unfamiliar turns. The wall of protection I created became too high for anyone to climb.

In this era of my life, as I begin to tread that final path of my earthly journey, I am made aware I no longer crave approval or need pity. My faith has strengthened through the fire. At last, I’m assured I’ll be okay. I have uncovered the answers to the countless questions that haunted me my entire life…and I found them in Jesus Christ. He understands me completely. He knows my heart so very well. He hears me when I weep, and catches every tear that falls from my eyes. And He will never desert me. No, I will never again be left to cry alone. 

Do you know how very much Jesus cares for us? Even the seemingly most-insignificant worry of our minds concerns Him. He wants nothing more than to love us, and He does…unconditionally and immensely. We are His children. His wish is not for our hearts and our dreams to be crushed. But when they are, He sees each tear that falls as we cry. He is aware of our burdens and offers the comfort of His all-embracing arms. What a beautiful Savior we have! If He isn’t already, allow Him to be Lord of your life today. He will be there for you when no one else will.

Psalm 56:8 “Thou tellest my wandering; put thou my tears into thy bottle; are they not in thy book?”

 

 

Advertisements

About Heart Written: Doris Hayes Gibson

My name is Doris Hayes Gibson. My life revolves around Jesus Christ, my Creator, my Redeemer, the Lord of my worship, and the Hope for my tomorrow. My passion is to illustrate God's beauty and love through poetry and song lyrics. I have created hundreds of framed poetry images. Some were gifts of encouragement; some to honor a memory of a loved one, and some were created to help someone celebrate a special occasion. After living out of state for several years, I am, once again, residing in the beautiful Upstate of South Carolina. I have three grown children, five grandchildren, and a blue tortoiseshell Burmese cat. Illustrating God's beauty and love through words of poetry is my deepest passion. Although I have always enjoyed writing, it wasn't until 2005 (when God shut one door) that I realized He was opening the door of a tremendous opportunity to see Him use me in a spectacular way. While I do not claim any greatness of ability in any shape or form, I do know that God brought me through many trials and heartaches for such a time as this. I am now able to share this gift of poetry, with which He has blessed me, to magnify Him through blessing others. I Peter 4:10,11 states: "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." Through my writings, my main goal is to edify Christ. If I have touched one person in a positive way through this ministry, I know it will be worth every effort I put into my work. As I have said before, "This is My Labor of Love...but God's Work of Art." My first book, Heart Written - Breaking Free, was published in November of 2012. It is my prayer that it will reach countless souls and bless lives in tremendous ways. In 2014, my second book, Heart Written - Calling Me, was published. My third and fourth books, Heart Written - Cleansing River and Heart Written - Guarded Treasures, are now available. Please visit any online bookstore to purchase my books or contact me for your personally signed copies of my Heart Written series.
This entry was posted in Abuse, Blogs, Friend, Quotes, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Once, I Cried Alone

  1. April says:

    I know this sounds weird, but I wish I could have been there to remove you from that. It breaks my heart to think of a child isolating themselves in their room to escaped an no one noticing. I love you dearly and I know this world is not a comforting place for you even now, but heaven will be true joy! One day…..

    Like

    • We don’t always understand why things happen the way they do, but I have found peace in knowing God has a reason. If I can just release ONE of those who may still be sitting in her room, alone. I want to brush away a tear and lend a smile to that shy and scared little girl. That’s where my joy will be found. God will make a way.

      I love you.

      Like

  2. It i’snt true that you cry alone. When we cry, God cries with us. Not only that, He dries our eyes after collecting our tears! We must have barrels and barrels of tears in Heaven huh? lol

    Like

    • …and they will all be dried from our eyes on that day for good!

      I have a framed print in my bedroom, above my bed, I purchased from a Christian bookstore many years ago. It has that scripture from Psalms on it. It is titled, “Tears in a Bottle.” It’s my favorite. I bought it when I needed that reassurance every day that Jesus would count all my tears and place them in His care.

      Oh, how He loves us!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s